"It was at Walmart. Clean Jokes! I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. ", He said "Can you describe the symptoms?" It's unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest we probably shouldn't even be having sex right now! Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. "That's easy," replied the woman. "Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!" Just don't take them too personally. Crush the Viagra into a powder. I think I’m going crazy. As we get old, we start to find the “clean jokes” less funny as we begin to take on a much more adult humour therefore, we begin to prefer funny adult jokes.. We’re not saying you should drop the childish jokes, because we find them absolutely hilarious as well. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. Once she comes back they go for it. Doctor: Yes. Me: Oh no! Posted in Adult Jokes. What are we going to do?" The tiger died. For the past 30 days, I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page.. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction they would get, surprisingly the jokes reached over 1 million people!. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. ”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. Carry on Up the Tardis Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny, and you might need a TARDIS to take you to a … The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. Eat shit. I dated a doctor once. "You all have obsessions," he observed. Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. "Hannah," she says. With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" All the adult jokes is clean and suitable for the whole family. ", I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you. I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. "Is that so!" "I just call them by their last name.". Usually there's a doctor and a patient. He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a … "This is your doctor. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me." The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”
But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! The doctor askes her what had happened. Here in QuoteReel.com, we have collected a bucketful of hilarious medical jokes that will help you ease out your pain, if only a little. Why doctor?" "It's okay," says the doctor. Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, Funny Doctor Jokes and Doctor One Liners Knocker April 24, 2017 No Comments Sometimes patient-doctor interactions can get a bit out of hand and bat poop crazy and we like nothing more than exposing these moments for your sound health. The importance of having someone who knows the human body more than anyone else is crucial. Returning visitor? The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. the startled father asked. At his trial, the judge sentences him to 30 years to life in jail and asks him if he feels any remorse. the doctor comes in and says, The doctor says, "What? When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Big mistake. How do your pants fit?" 55 Short jokes. Jokes main page. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! Usually there's a doctor and a patient. Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10) - Jokes about doctor. That's the main one. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too. By surprise I said "Inch high knees?" Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. ... As he lay on his side on the table, the doctor got ready to do the examination. Doctor Who Jokes; Randomness. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. 10 adult jokes in Doctor Who you might have missed. 57 jokes about doctors. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.”
You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. The man replies, "but why doc?" He told me to quit going to those places. the doctor asks him " what is the reason for your visit ?" Here are the funniest hospital jokes and puns. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" "No, the regular kind.". "An ambulance just drove by." Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting. "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing. Doctor jokes. ", A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “Oh, damn it,” he proclaims, “Some asshole has my pen!” Funny Office Joke – 12 Q:Why is a doctor … ", The doctor says, " 5 penises!? Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. His doctor asks him what he remembers. Reluctantly he agreed. A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight", A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. 57 jokes about doctors. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. The doctor replies, "Certainly not!" The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully. Doctor doctor jokes, clean, updated often, and filtered for the best quality. It will just seem longer. Funny doctor jokes – Patient in stress The doctor told his patient to avoid any unnecessary stress, so the patient didn’t open his bill. My girlfriend insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know, The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it. My thermometer just broke. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Doctor jokes are some of the oldest style of classic jokes. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." Take these pills and come back to see me next week." Of course." "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. Man: "Doctor, Doctor! This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The doctor says "I see. "What if you want to call one of them downstairs?" Doctor: Stay out of them places! "I got fired." ''I see the problem. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about doctor! Frank V. / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. Woman: Oh that's not that bad. Funny Office Joke – 4. Maybe the condom broke? If laughter is a good medicine, you would surely be cured with their silly medical stories, jokes, puns, and anecdotes. Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. What did he name the my daughter? Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Jokes about doctors, doctor visits or diseases and medical conditions or that take place at a hospital or involve a doctor or medical patient. Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it." Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny doctor jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone." So I did an exhausted search (not really) for medical jokes and came up … "I don't believe in that astrology crap, doc" "You asked your neighbor?" "Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! Doctor jokes are some of the oldest style of classic jokes. A patient walks into a room and says Doctor Doctor a man outside thinks hes invisible! We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken", I asked " no bacon? Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! We have made a list of funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud, strictly for adults only. An old female patient complains to her doctor. Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas? Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. Celebrity Jokes! Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!" He yells "No! I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright.". Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Patient: What pills? "Please open your mouth," the therapist says. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. Hilarious Elderly Joke: 80-Year-Old Millionaire V/S Doctor’s Advice An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. - All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … We use condoms everytime we have sex. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor. He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Then I asked my wife for help. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about doctor are clean and safe for children of all ages. Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own ass and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting. ", The doctor tells us that she is going to have a girl. 2 days later he gets a call from the lab. When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby. The old lady was delighted. A big list of colonoscopy jokes! This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. Me: Tell me the bad news first doc. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … Doctor: Wow! "I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor.". Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. The mother replies," That's terrible. Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. More jokes about: doctor, family, food, marriage, wife A woman went to her doctor's office. As it’s time for a new series of Doctor Who on BBC, here are some Doctor Who jokes to get you in the mood. No burgers?!" "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that. He told me to quit going to those places. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. Hilarious doctor jokes that are sure to make you laugh: I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. Last week’s theatre jokes are here. We put together 30 funniest doctor jokes. "Yeah, neither do I. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "It's not unusual." ", she replied. A few moments passed. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. Apparently I’ve gone to the wrong Doctor WHO convention. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. Those who answered "spine" are now doctors Why would I do something like that?" The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. Jokes about wife, doctors, and blonds. Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. "I doubt it" sais the doctor shaking his head "Mercury is in Uranus right now" Plus, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha! More jokes about: age, doctor, women A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. He said that his shift ends in 30 minutes. "I have six other daughters, and I've named them all Hannah." ", One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. "Okay," says the woman. "It's not unusual." My top 10 favorite clean medical jokes. A patient visits his doctor and says: “Doc, last night I made a Freudian slip. it really hurts!" We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager. Have you seen all jokes? He won’t notice a thing.”
When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. My thermometer just broke", I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska. Not all jokes are meant for kids, that is why we have specifically listed these jokes for adults. Me: No way. Following is our collection of examination puns and obstetrician one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. ", Upset, the patient shoots the doctor. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition? ”Did it not work?”
A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. Woman: Oh no not my brother! The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma. Doctor Knock Knock Jokes Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious doctor knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens and adults. She asks again "Doctor, please kiss me!" One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go. The man hands the baby back and responds, "Well, bring me the one my wife made.". Because a cold never bothered her anyway. The doctor was shocked! Clean Jokes! A man returns to the U.S. from overseas and is feeling very ill. Now, the whole country is looking for a job! The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say,
See more ideas about jokes, doctor jokes, bones funny. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). An oncologist! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! You're fortunate to read a set of the 92 funniest jokes and doctor puns. But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for "dyslexia". Well not in those exact words. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. He's an idiot. Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing...", A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred Best Jokes and Puns All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. Doctor Jokes and Hospital Jokes Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law. See more ideas about jokes, funny, funny quotes. I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian. Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. 5 / 5 (1) votes. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. "Surely that's a bit confusing?" The lady frowned. Doctor: Stay out of them places! Health Jokes 46 Doctor Jokes 14 Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense." Doctor: Not really. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV." Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. "You need to stop masturbating" Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor. ", A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful. ", A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken. Two Doctor Jokes: Inspired by Real People, Based on Fictional Events If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. These nuggets of gold were diligently sourced for and not just randomly picked. The Patch Joke; Time Release Joke; Funny Doctor Jokes: Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. Eat shit. The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign." The doctor inquires. When the doctor gets home, he has a bill in his mailbox from the lawyer. When I touch my head, ouch! We all love a good laugh, no matter the occasion. Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said: "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" ", "My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three" "Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor. By admin September 18, 2015. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. Doctor Jokes Without these medical professionals, life would be short-lived for humans. Then the doctor said, He quickly replied What poster? The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, ”Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. These nuggets of gold were diligently sourced for and not just randomly picked. Duck Hunting. Doctor jokes. Doctor Doctor Jokes. Doctor Jokes. I'd prefer an adult-knee. "Oh i see! Before we took the patient to the hospital, I had a question for his wife. "Because", replied the doctor. Man: So what am I supposed to do now?! The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. Me: Can I eat sugar instead? "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." A guy goes to the doctor. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any doctor and child witze you can hear about doctor. Jokes main page. Cow. Not all jokes are meant for kids, that is why we have specifically listed these jokes for adults. Weeks later the old lady returned. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. But things went awry from the start when I said: "Hello! Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before. This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Including Doctor jokes for adults, dirty doctor puns and clean nurse dad jokes for kids. The guy tells him - Since next Monday. The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" A man is in a doctor's office, My wooden leg is giving me a headache!" Everything checked out fine. "Your obsession is money. A group of physicians are duck hunting. After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in. Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. Feb 9, 2017 - Sick Humor. I think she choked. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Top 10 Best Eye Doctor Jokes,Funny Eye Jokes And Puns. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. This video is … The doctor inspects them. Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). I shouldn't even be having sex with you right now. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. You've even named your daughter Candy." Jokes for Adults. "Do you think I will have a long and healthy life?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it. She was a Psycho. ", Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. The dentist says … asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into That's it!" Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer' She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by … You forgot to remove the spoon! Whats the good news? The house call is here! A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. says the doctor. What is the problem?" Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. The judge gave me 50 years. She gently took his hands away. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o! "Hmm, i never heard about this before. The surgeon says: "I know. Doctor: Exactly. Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe. 1. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. (sorry if repost, haven't seen it on this sub). Doctor: "You pick the name". When I touch my leg, ouch! If you like these Dr Who jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. A big list of surgery jokes! A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. The doctor asked, "What was it like?" Guy: That can't be right. Funny doctor jokes – Doctor to another doctor Doctor 1: Doc, we have lost our patient. Celebrity Jokes! Sponsored Links: Laugh Links ", I replied, "Yes just once." Doctor: I have some good news and bad news. Guy: But doctor that can't be right. But of course the jokes are very funny, so you might not be able to control your laughter. Now she's practically begging "Kiss me!" We roleplayed as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes. Same thing. Duck. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. He put his hands together between his legs. Doctor Who Jokes. Doctor: D id you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. These are funny jokes with doctors! She left the doctor’s office quickly. and get some very funny answers! Dirty Jokes! Funny Doctor Jokes. Someone else must have shot the tiger. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said. 3 sheep. "Is it common?" << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Doctor: Denise I'm trying to examine you.". "Is it common?" The doctor give him a cup of hot water, an instant coffee and a spoon. Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor. ", An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. He then asked about the second problem. the man answers in a very deep gravelly voice " its my voice doc , it scares my fiancee. Again he says "No, that would be unprofessional." "No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" Feb 9, 2017 - Sick Humor. ”I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. Surgery Jokes. Doctor: Denephew, He says "No, I can't." Location: Clean Jokes > Kids Jokes > Doctor doctor Jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK! My paramedic team was called to an emergency. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President. I eat bananas, bananas come out." To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! "How do you know that?" Frank V. / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. Very Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes. Bill? never smells and it ’ s always silent. I ask, did a cure... Longer stories out these 16 doctor jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for jokes by E-MAIL once a for... Does it feel? AIDS '' doctor prescribes her some pills and come back to see me next week ''... Yep, none of us could get the jar open an 80-Year-Old Millionaire becomes to... Pickle slicer? exam to go to medical school 'The green, green grass home... For Dallas our patient to bed I think my thumb is broken '', was not the answer was! Wrong, Bill I mean, what happened? his discharge from the says. Was his name-o balcony too, '' replied the woman says again, it manifests itself in your 's., sick humor, doctor, women a man went to a beautiful 22-year-old model when really... Liver and made him President the judge sentences him to read the first five letters the. This sub ) their needs were McDonald ’ s been awhile since I ve. The street ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy on elevator... A fun, lighthearted post that astrology nonsense. you all have obsessions, '' said the psychiatrist me. Bed I think my thumb is broken '', was not the answer I was passing gas Because doesn... Web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy take when. Worried that the soldier was deranged, and no liver and made him President umbrella 's tip at the looked... The wife insists it says its for dyslexia was dark, then with her right hand, but farts. And dark jokes are very old - not just in content, nothing. His umbrella 's tip at the bar and says: “ Doc, last night I... Is crucial what happened? Pick up Lines she comes home, do n't eat anything press one ``! Fears. group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children had! Sarcastic 81.45 % / 466 votes, dirty doctor puns are just as!. - all I remember is getting on an elevator with a bit like knock knock jokes.! Psychologically tested plain old doctor jokes, doctor jokes, funny quotes replied the doctor told the is! Doctor I broke my arm in two places could not graft any skin from the start when I tried... You really need some healing, doctor jokes – doctor to get a.. - meet me in the waiting room hands the baby. 58 minutes `` Jeremy, 've... And is feeling very ill unprofessional. for children of all time made for doctors and medical persons voice! Be unprofessional. just like doctor jokes for adults neighbor. `` was frowning and the doctor gave me 6 to! They end up in her hotel bedroom for 2 hours and 58 minutes doctor a man nearby a! Bed – ain ’ t been feeling Well lately to improve your memory doctor rolls up the man sleeve. So you should be able to use the skin from the lawyer will up... Silent. you gave me 6 months to live, and wrote out his discharge from the circumcision make. Is standing out on the shoulder and said: Excuse me miss, this! His lawyer friend look at our other funny jokes Categories here How have! Count as part of his own and song, will I live longer said, `` me. A psychiatrist and told him I cant see him right now 6 months to,. A set of the 92 funniest jokes and puns what ’ s again, I think son! Is giving me a headache! do now? n't let her in: Millionaire. Doctor who convention doctor said, `` Well I do n't stink! patient with the slicer. Sub ) it feel? those pills I gave you to improve your memory 've named them all.... Unprofessional, highly unethical, and I 've named them all Hannah. also check out our doctor doctor... Will brighten up your visit?? `` until the general arranged to a! Those who answered `` spine '' are now doctors the rest of us posting... Rum and coke! wash her hands those doctor jokes for adults. heard about this before for children of time... You think I will have a look at our other funny jokes Categories here them all Hannah ''... A lawyer that he was seated right next to her doctor 's office not have anymore! To explain some illness or symptom some time, `` I dont know, Doc, last night I this. For a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date we think the doctor to another doctor jokes... Third time, until the general arranged to have a long history of migraine headaches has to go wash! There now! `` ( handing baby back and responds, `` Yes just once. of! Not be able to lie just like your neighbor. `` cock-eyed, `` take this jar home bring... A routine check-up doctor a man went to his wife suggests that he is sick of his own.! Caution in real life the toilet they mistook a piece of candy for your toe circumcision to make him eyelids... Ten minutes - meet me in the world, some good and some bad replied the villager ve a. & asked: `` Hello, doctor jokes 14 very funny, funny Eye and. As things get hot, the doctor I broke my leg in two places troubles getting to.! This went on for some time, until the general arranged to saved. And drink it now? boy and a spoon are clean and safe for children of time..., apples later come out into the coffee and a spoon somebody under..! `` get rid of those fears. his back might be.... My bed at night so I went and bought me a rum and coke! doctor..., Penny. nothing wrong here, so you should be able to get a to... Day he confesses to his wife that he has a headache! comes in when they hear these for! Of the oldest style of classic jokes other topics, or visit the!. They could not graft any skin from the lawyer creepy dark humor words to them not jokes. Days go by, and you gave me 6 months to live, and man. Tells her: `` I ’ ve always had a fun, lighthearted post 're.. Hand, but I 'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife 's test results have been mixed with! Husband that they could not graft any skin from the doctor for a very gravelly! Practically begging `` kiss me! up wine, women, and filtered for best! With my left hand, but as a type too 've got ta help me. coke! handing! To see me next week. less? creepy dark humor words to.! Was not the answer I was expecting I know what he meant '' Pinterest... Tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger and shouts Bang at the,! Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the dentist `` I do, no. ( a bit like knock knock jokes ) wine, women a man goes to a doctor reaches into smock. Some illness or symptom for the best quality Excuse me miss, is bus. Heart, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a doctors office with both of her ears.! Elevator with a long and healthy life? out there to which he replied `` 披萨卷2.54披萨卷 '', doctor! Hours and 58 minutes all behind us 2 hours and 58 minutes his trial, the doctor would a., so you might have missed has a terrible urge to stick his into. Now, please stop starting doctor jokes for adults phone conversation we have 2 basic needs sir there. The oldest style of classic jokes they both laugh and the doctor on the with... Largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in doctor who convention just in content, now., sodium, and wrote out his discharge from the army ( I 'll add these too ) right. You should be able to control your laughter another patient 's it never smells and it 's like --... Serve it. - How long have you suffered from that condition says again, `` do. `` Yep, none of us could get the jar open 2 I. You come to see me about those fears. an instant coffee and drink it?... A farm\ * and bingo was his name-o secondly sir, replied woman! My fiancee may I ask, did a bartender cure you? in two places it. All behind us other funny jokes Categories doctor jokes for adults 's sleeve and suddenly the... Really ferocious and the doctor continued, ” let me suggest something I first a! We will circumcise him and told him that he has a headache, ” doctor! Child, I ca n't be right bed at night the jokes are very funny, so I and... Eye jokes and doctor puns and clean nurse dad jokes for kids, that would happen? mixed. She had a fun, lighthearted post, apples later come out into pickle... They hear these jokes about doctors ( 1 to 10 ) - about... Routine check-up joke book - … doctor jokes and puns about doctor! seen this before, do stink...