Then ask the following questions …, “how was that?” (answers here may a bit longer than the first time round, generally speaking lots of people prefer it), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 6 and 9), “how did it compare to the first handshake?” (people often say “it was more mutual,” “we knew what was going to happen,” “it was more fun” “there was more eye contact”), “did anyone prefer the first handshake?” (try to convince people that this isn’t a trick question – it’s important that people feel they can say they did. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o There might be so much negotiation about every single thing (kissing, touching, words, taking clothes off etc) that it would take away a lot of the fun and spontaneity. video was created for tweens and teens ages 11-16 to show concrete examples of: what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and; You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. It's about how to choose your perfect pizza, what to watch on TV, who plays in goal, politics, rights, and yeah also a bit about sex. As parents we need to be able to clearly explain the concept and language of consent so they understand what to expect and how to express themselves in sexual situations. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011. LISTEN. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … USING THE VIDEO AND DISCUSSION GUIDE. There is a lot of information slides but there is also some activities and a link to the 'how to show consent through tea'. [Knowledge] A NOTE ABOUT LANGUAGE: 804.377.0335. info@vsdvalliance.org. Really pay attention to them. Instead we could try being more ‘third handshake.’, To explore how people can incorporate the best of both handshakes and to think of how they do this. Remember, when it comes to sexual activities and sex, you have the right to decide when you do it, where you do it, and how you do it. Not all 11-16 year olds are dating, but most have probably thought about what it means to be in a dating relationship. You might also be interested in my new training course about it here. Slide templates and interactive classroom activities are also available. Are there times when it’s better to talk more than others? What happened?”. The Oregon Department of Education outlines what to teach: defining consent, describing how relationship power imbalances could impact personal boundaries, and being able to say—and respect hearing—no. Teaching kids to ask “Is it okay if I…?” before touching another person is essential when we are attempting to help them understand consent. we can relate. For full instructions on how to use this activity, as well as a comprehensive slideshow to help you to deliver it, you should check out my new Consent Teaching Pack, which contains several other interactive and in-depth activities about consent, negotiation and power. 30/60 minutes – over 14 possibly works better for an older group or a group who are more likely to be sexually active (or considering being sexually active). Are there times when you feel like you can’t say no to a handshake? Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! First of all I’d like everyone to shake hands, if you want to.”, Give enough time for as many people to shake hands with as many people as they like. Yes please! Posted on March 25, 2015. Ask about times when people have been unsure whether what they were doing or experiencing was okay. Another experiential activity you could try is my ‘Choose Chocolate’ exercise in my Consent Teaching Pack, where participants get to practice tuning into what they want and learning how to meet their needs and others. Naomi nods her head and is led upstairs by Jackson. I sometimes then ask people to do another ‘third handshake’ but this time with someone they haven’t shook hands with yet. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. EC_Resources It works as an analogy for sexual consent, but it’s also interesting to think about how we do and don’t consent to greetings in everyday life. At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – the right to not be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless they give that person clear permission. Jackson asks Naomi if she wants to hook up. By Monica Rivera. [Knowledge, Skill] 3.Demonstrate an understanding of how giving and getting clear consent is part of a respectful relationship. The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 By Joanna Schroeder , Julie Gillis, Jamie Utt and Alyssa Royse A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! Ask the group to think of why this is. We’ve also massively improved our greetings whenever we meet up (a good firm hug, lasting for about 2 seconds). ... NSPCC Share Aware Teaching Resources. 2 Teach them the importance of saying “no” or “stop. LISTEN. It takes teaching about consent beyond a very simple legalistic message such as ‘no means no’ and gives people the opportunity to experience the barriers and opportunities for experiencing consent in a safer environment. from harm. Desiree and Naomi are best friends and are at a party together. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. When you allow your child to reject an offer of a hug, you are teaching consent. Many of us teach consent everyday without knowing it. Authentic Consent = saying yes or giving permission free of any pressure. If you would like me to come to your school or college or youth club to teach this you can book me here. Jackson, a cute guy at the party, approaches Naomi, who is totally drunk. Coercion = involves using the threat of harm to make someone do something against their will. Sex in this case might mean ‘one thing leads to another.’ ‘Foreplay’ and then ‘intercourse’ (like penis or toys in vagina or anus).”, “This approach works for some people and some people like that kind of sex because it can be spontaneous and exciting. It’s just £12.50 for an instant download. (Consent, Sexual Assault, Date Rape and Sexual Grooming. We reached out last week, asking Kim for a few practical ideas to teach consent to our littles — whether they’re small, pre-teen, or — sob! How Can We Teach Consent? Teach verbal and nonverbal communication. Communication about giving or denying permission includes the words we say, such as “Yes” or “No.” However, nonverbal communication, such as gestures, facial expressions, and body movements, are even more communicative. A fist bump? Give and Get Consent A resource for teaching sexual consent to Key Stages 3 & 4 Created by Rape Crisis South London (RASASC) in partnership with the Child and Woman Abuse Studies Unit, the Office of the Children’s Commissioner, and the End Violence Against Women Coalition. The ASK. Communication is vital to teaching consent. • The law defines the age of consent as 16. Desiree notices that Naomi is drinking a lot and starting to slur her words. They might say “it was less awkward,” “it was over more quickly,” “it was more fun,” “it was more exciting not knowing how it was going to be.”), “So neither ‘first handshake’ or ‘second handshake’ is ideal. — teenagers. Often when people have sex they take a ‘first handshake’ approach. So explain, “I’d like you to shake hands for one last time, but this time I’d like you to try and get a balance between first handshake and second handshake. • Divide the class into groups of 4 or 5. 1. As the children get older, you can expand on your teaching to include talking of boundaries in sexual relationships. Also someone has to be able to give their capacity to consent. At Power Up, Speak Out! Then explain …, “However if people were more ‘second handshake’ about sex then it would be really difficult to have sex because everything would have to be negotiated. So. We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. FREE (2) Popular paid resources. This is a simple sounding activity but it is potentially quite a powerful one and a tricky one to get right. Create educational activities for ethical dilemmas regarding informed consent and confidentiality using these presentations. Even if they suspect that teaching consent is part of the problem, they're not sure how. Teaching Consent Doesn’t Have to be Hard; Widen Layout: standard. Taken from my new Consent Teaching Pack. This involves the belief that failure to do something would result in serious harm against someone, either self or someone else. So focus on the tiny micro-communications of the other person: eye contact, nodding or shaking heads, facial expressions, noises, short words or phrases like “oh yeah” or “bit softer,” how bodies move towards or against each other, moving hands etc.”. These teaching materials can be easily integrated into your PSHE education programme and are designed to help pupils to understand and maintain healthy relationships while learning about consent and challenging controlling behaviour, violence and abuse. After completing this educational activity in Informed Consent and Confidentiality, you should be able to: Often the ‘third handshake’ was the preferred handshake of the group. Negotiate this on a scale of 1 to 10”, “How long would you like it to go on for, or how many shakes would you like?”, “Do you want to dry your hands first?”, “Do you want to do something else altogether? The first lesson focuses on changing holds or positions. 1.Define the terms “consent,” “coercion” and “incapacitated.” [Knowledge] 2.Differentiate between a situation in which consent is clearly given and one in which it is not. Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. 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